


Nightingale

by Kuroneko



Series: Wild Lillies Also Have a Spring [3]
Category: Shinhwa
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 21:10:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5064259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuroneko/pseuds/Kuroneko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel for Wild Lillies Also Have a Spring</p><p>Takes one year after the original story.<br/>Hyesung seemingly moved on, but Eric and recent events making the leader get drunk in a bar make the singer's feelings waver once again...</p><p>(originally posted on AFF: Apr 24, 2015)<br/>(I'm not a native speaker please bear in mind)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightingale

**Author's Note:**

> If you are wondering why 'Nightingale' is the title... please my read my foreword for Wild Lillies Also Have a Spring. *lazy*

Hyesung was wearing a displeased expression as he was staring at the screen of his phone as if his eyes were glued to it. He refused to look up, say or do anything, he was just playing a game while chatting with a friend on Line and tried to ignore his surroundings.

His surroundings, which meant the members in a bar with an awfully drunk and depressed Eric Mun, whom they tried to comfort for about 3-4 hours now.

Them – the members – and definitely not Shin Hyesung. He was just there because he was told to come, but he would have preferred to be home or be out on a date with his current girlfriend.

Because he had a girlfriend, they have been together for about half a year now if he was not wrong, though, it was the girl whom counted the days as if her life was depending on it, Hyesung was just there and made sure the girl did not feel uncomfortable or bad. One could say he did his best to have a perfect relationship and make it last long, maybe even marriage could turn out of it.

Hyesung liked her. If he had to describe her with one word then he would have said ‘natural’. She never put up an act in front of him to please him. She was being perfectly herself and like that, she was naturally cute and funny with whom Hyesung always had a great time, but when it was needed she could be a real tomboy and kick Hyesung in the butt.

They had a good relationship. They got along well with each other, of course they had small fights like any other couple, but nothing serious. It was a good relationship and Hyesung thought he might have hit jackpot.

There was only one problem: he was not in love.

Of course Hyesung liked the girl or else he wouldn’t have dated her, he thought it was pretty impossible for anyone not to feel the same can it be a friendly or romantic kind of like. She made him smile and blush sometimes, she even made his heart race from time to time. He liked this girl, he cherished her.

But he was not in love, not even a bit and he felt guilty, because this was the sign how he might have gotten over Eric, however, he was still holding onto his love towards him even if it was buried in the deepest part of his heart. In the end he was just unable to feel the same way like he did with Eric and this made him wearing an expression as if he had bitten into a lemon, especially when he was close to Eric. Especially now as he looked over the other side of the table and he saw that face he used to like so much now being turned into something gross thanks to the drunkenness.

Hyesung let out a sigh and put away his phone while he was still glaring at Eric and the members trying to hold him back from continuing drinking, but of course they failed all the time – though Hyesung had this feeling they rather let him drink until he passed out so they could handle him easier.

Also, they must have felt sorry for him. Hyesung could not deny he felt the same way as well.

The reason Eric tried to drown his depressed feeling into alcohol was that earlier the day his divorce was made official.

It was going on for about two months now and Hyesung thought it must have been the most hectic period for the leader in his whole life. Now it came for an end, they said out loud the divorce this morning and so, they have been in this bar ever since six in the afternoon. And Eric consumed a large amount of alcohol already, while telling how much he was hurting.

Hyesung really felt sorry for him, his heart hurt for him. He did not lie. Seeing the leader in this state was something he would have given anything to avoid. He did not want Eric to suffer like this, he wanted him to be the happiest person in the world. He did not deserve it.

However, he had no idea what to say or how to comfort him. He could not say such things like Junjin with his ‘it’s not the end of the world’ speech or Dongwan’s ‘you’ll find someone else soon, there are tons of fish in the ocean’. Even though it was hard for them as well to come up with such things, after all none of them ever experienced a divorce. They could not even get married like Eric did even though they thought they will follow the leader immediately and have themselves tied to a woman as well. Their anticipation was definitely wrong and in the end even Eric became single again.

And so, Hyesung just sat silently facing Eric, looking at him from time to time while sipping on his juice (he did not drink alcoholic anything that night, he did not feel like doing so), trying not to look way too awkward.

 

“Hyesung-ah, you should take him home.”

Hyesung looked at Minwoo dumbfounded, then glared at the dead drunk Eric being supported by Junjin and Andy, then his gaze moved back to Minwoo. He shook his head, even lifted his hands and showed the gesture yelling ‘no’.

He definitely did not want to take him home. He did not want to touch Eric, listen to his heartbroken mumbling, he did not want to be alone with him in a car, in his home while he brings him in. He did not want to be alone with him, especially when he was so drunk.

Not because he did not want to help his friend. That’s it, they were friends. Friends.  
The problem was he did not trust himself. A year had passed since he closed off his feelings, it took him months to be able to smile honestly. It took him months to get over his pain. He just reached that stage where he could look at Eric or call his name without having a cramp appear in his stomach. He just got better, he just got back on the tracks.

No, he was not ready for this. He did not trust himself and he was terrified his feelings would carve themselves out of the place he buried them and get on the surface again, especially now that Eric was… free. He was terrified he would be seduced by the chance, he was terrified he would go back to the past.

He could not let himself do that. He promised he won’t. He moved on, he got over him – more or less -, he had already made quite of a distance, he could not let himself go back to the start line.

“Hyung.” It was Junjin calling out to him, the only person whom knew about his feelings and soon about the whole story after the wedding when Hyesung needed someone he could lean on. “Eric hyung here… he really needs help.” He said with a meaningful expression, then he sighed and half-laughing, half-furious he added. “You live so close to him, so please, stop being stubborn and drag his ass home, he is heavy holding him like this, you know. Andy and I are dying right now.”

Hyesung just rolled his eyes displeased and opened the door of his car, while mumbling, “If he vomits here… I’m going to kill every one of you…”

 

Even though by the time they arrived to their apartment complex and it was easier for Hyesung to drag Eric to his storey and door, in the end they did not succeed on getting in to his home so Hyesung could just kick him onto his bed and leave. Actually, Hyesung would have been surprised if things went that easy.

However, no matter how many times Hyesung asked for his access code, Eric only mumbled inaudible words and Hyesung failed to get the code out of him, which he had no idea about, he never cared about it.

With a loud sigh he tightened his hug around Eric’s waist, he grabbed his arm around his shoulders and letting out an even louder sigh he turned around and left for his building, for his home… with his unwanted ‘luggage’.

 

“I swear to God… once you sober up… I’m going to beat you into senselessness… then pour ice cold water on you… and beat you up again…”

Hyesung was not only breathing fast by the time he dragged Eric into his home, right to the bathroom, but he felt like he was bathing in his own sweat. Doing all of this felt like a week’s exercise, he thought he might as well grow some more muscles if he had to continue dragging the leader around more.

Hyesung took off his jacket and threw it out of the bathroom, he was going to deal with that after he washed Eric’s face a bit, so he could sober up enough to tell him his entrance code and so, he could get rid of him.

He poured some water on a towel he grabbed first and wiped off the sweat from Eric’s face, his neck, his nape, then gently slapped his face calling out to him, “Yah, do you hear me? Are you okay? Tell me your entrance code.”

“Hnn…”

Hyesung just had time to turn Eric to the toilet, open the lid and push his head at the right place so he won’t cover his bathroom with the content of his stomach.

“Now, I’m surely going to kill you.” He mumbled annoyed, while he was patting Eric’s back. “Why do I even have to do this…”

After he was finished he leant his back to the wall, taking long, deep breaths to make himself feel better. Hyesung poured some more water onto the already wet towel, wiped his face, then put it onto his nape.

“I hope you have given out everything and you don’t feel like vomiting more…” He mumbled as he went out to the kitchen only to come back with a glass of water, still grumbling. “I’m too old to do this… and it’s certainly too late as well… I have better things to do…” He stood before Eric and offered him the glass, “Here, drink this.”

Eric took the glass, had a few sips then gave it back to Hyesung. He then opened his eyes properly for the first time since Hyesung brought him back with himself. He gazed right at Hyesung, it was clear he was not sober at all, but he was slightly better compared to his self a few minutes ago.

He was staring and staring at Hyesung, then on an almost inaudible voice he mumbled, “You…”

“Yeah, me, it’s me who is going to kick your ass.” Hyesung replied annoyed. He was already too tired and wanted to get rid of Eric as soon as possible.

“You…” He rumbled again. “It’s you… it’s always been you…” He took a deep, painful breath. “It’s your fault… yours…”

Hyesung lifted his eyebrows confused, “What?”

“My wife… he divorced me… and it’s your fault, only yours…”

Hyesung felt like he froze to the spot he was standing at. He could only stare at him, his lips slightly parted in shock, his palms clenched into fists. His heart was pounding causing an unbearable pain in his chest.

He did not understand Eric’s words. How in the world would he be at fault when he did his best to stay out of Eric’s life? He was confused, hurt and furious. Just where did he take the courage to talk to him like this, to blame him for something that wasn’t even his fault, when a year ago he completely broke him and forced him to build up himself again?

He felt like as if his eyes were pierced by thousands of needles, his lips were trembling and suddenly his until now buried misery came back to surface again.

“How dare you…” His voice cracked. “Just…”

However, as if Eric did not even hear him continued his confusing rambling, “It’s your fault… your fault…”

Hyesung could not hold back himself, grabbed Eric’s collar, shook him and cried out, “You damned bastard, how dare you say that to me? You, out of all people, you who broke my…” He bit his lip, he realized his words were in vain, there was no sense in arguing with drunk people.

Instead with all his power he lifted him by his collar, dragged him to the shower and threw him into the cabin, then let the cold water flow on him.

“You can take my bedroom for tonight.” Hyesung mumbled, not looking at Eric, whom was even more sober from the water. He did not look at him, he turned away with his whole body only showing his back to him, he did not want him to see his bitter tears gathering in eyes. “In the morning… go home once you wake up.”

Then he left, leaving Eric behind in the shower cabin, with the icy cold water pouring onto his head…

And he did not see, he did not see at all how he was wearing a regretful, pained expression…

 

Hyesung did not sleep much that night. Eric’s words were echoing in his head continuously and he just ended up lying on his sofa, staring at the ceiling, doubting himself. Did he really do something that would make him being at fault for Eric’s divorce?

He had no idea. All this time he was doing his best not to be in their way, he tried to act invisible, he just could not think about anything that would have made him at fault. He was confused, Eric’s words could not leave his head and in the end he only managed to get 2-3 hours sleep.

 

It was around 8 pm when he heard steps from inside his home. He was sitting on his balcony sipping on his coffee, watching the morning sight of Seoul.

He had been up for about an hour now, he was sitting there ever since then, not leaving his place not even for a moment. He was deep in his thoughts, the same thoughts that were torturing him the whole night, but now that he was calmer it did not feel like anymore as if the echoing words in his head were biting into his heart, ripping out huge shreds.

Hyesung just arrived to that stage when he finally more or less calmed his mind, however hearing the sluggish, tired steps after the opening sound of his bedroom door, suddenly his heartbeat got faster again and that so familiar cramp had appeared in his stomach.

Soon, the sound if the steps came from closer and closer until Eric appeared, sticking his head out of the entrance door to the balcony.

“Hyesung-ah…”

“Oh, you woke up?” He said and acted as if nothing had happened during the night. It was something he decided to do after spending hours thinking about the whole thing. “Don’t you feel sick?”

“No.”

Hyesung did not see what expression he was wearing, he did not look at him, he did not even turn to him. “Good. There is some coffee in the kitchen. Drink it, then go home, your clothes are dry as well, there is nothing that could stop you now. Quit bothering me.”

There was a few minutes long silence till Eric opened his mouth again, “Jung Pilgyo, let’s talk.”

“But we are talking.” Hyesung scoffed, then stood up and wanted to get inside, but Eric was in the way, a quite of an underdressed Eric.

He was only wearing his underwear while being covered up by Hyesung’s blanket, making the singer bite his lips in embarrassment.

Well, his clothes got wet when Hyesung threw him into the shower cabin the previous night…

“It’s cold outside.” Hyesung mumbled while slipping in next to him. “You should get dressed…”

However, Eric had different ideas. He grabbed Hyesung’s arm to turn him towards himself so they could face each other. “I remember everything.” Hyesung’s eyes turned wide. “What I’ve said… let’s talk.”

Hyesung froze to the place once again. He remembered? So in the end he really meant what he said? Anger rushed through his body like a wave, he hit his hand and pushed him once at his chest. “Oh, so you mean ‘it’s your fault my wife divorced me’? Oh, you are right you definitely need to explain that, but you know what?” He pushed Eric again. “I don’t care, get your clothes and get the hell out of here, I’ve had enough of you!”

“Listen to me first, will you!” Eric grabbed him by his shoulders, but Hyesung did not let him to do so.

“I don’t want to!” He cried out frustrated. He quieted down for a moment wheezing, his eyes were filled with tears. “I don’t want to hear anything. I… Eric I can’t do this. How can you say such things to me? My fault? Why? You broke my heart into tiny pieces, but I’ve stepped aside and let you live your life with that woman.” He wiped away his tears sniffing. “You have not even the slightest idea how hard it was on me, how hard it is for me even now… You were happy in your own little world, but here I felt like I was dying… But I’ve promised, right? I’ve promised I’ll stop and move on… and I did.” Hyesung looked into Eric’s eyes, pointing at him. “No, you don’t get to say it’s my fault, you don’t get to say anything, because you broke me. But I moved on, it was hard and I admit, yes, I still have lingering feelings towards you that probably won’t ever disappear… but I’ve moved on. I have a life now and I don’t want you to trigger me…”

“Listen to me. Please.” Eric pleaded and his tone made Hyesung stare at him, not being able to say anything, but instead waiting for whatever he wanted to say. “I… of course it’s not your fault, it’s mine, but… you are in the picture as well.” Hyesung looked at him with a questioning expression and so, he continued. “Before the ceremony, when you told me everything and then we… slept together…” Hyesung turned his gaze away, his cheeks were flaming. “And the next day you acted as if nothing had happened and as you promised, you sent me off smiling… but you know what? I could not do that. After that night all I could thing about was you, your words were all in my head. And while I was happy with my wi… ex-wife, it was not the same like it was before that night. But I’ve managed, you know? Somehow seeing you almost every day kind of calmed me. But then everything went wrong half a year ago… Suddenly you announced to us you have a girlfriend. After that everything went downhill and I know it well how selfish I am, I’ve suffered long nights thanks to my conscience. But I just couldn’t accept it? The thought of loosing you suddenly hit me even though I was the one whom dumped you for someone else, even though I’ve already lost you. But this time it was real, there was a person whom you might marry one day and the thought terrified me, because I knew I would loose you in real. And every day I was just thinking about you and I was painfully jealous. That was the time when my relationship with my ex-wife started to get worse and worse and… well, you know the aftermath. I loved my wife, I even do now after all of this, but for some reason I’ve never thought about you even though you’ve always been there.”

Eric stepped close to Hyesung, reached out to him and gently stroked his cheek, “In the end” he mumbled, “It’s always been you, Shin Hyesung… my true love. I was just a fool and blind not to notice and I curse myself for only realizing it after that night.”

Hyesung inhaled then let the air out, his breathing was shaky. His eyes were filled with tears, even though he tried to hide them by blinking rapidly, Eric still noticed them. “Do you think you can change anything by saying all of this now… I’ve moved on Eric, I’ve told you.”

“Yes, and you told me, too, that you still have lingering feelings for me!” He cupped Hyesung’s face, leaning his forehead against his and whispered. “Do you still like me?”

“Eric, it’s not that easy…” Hyesung wanted to turn away, but Eric did not let him to.

“Yes, it is that easy, but you make it complicated.” He swept away Hyesung’s hair from the way. “Do you still like me?”

Hyesung stayed quiet for a few moments. He knew he should just get away from him, he should just kick him out, because in the end he is going to be the hurt one again. But he couldn’t do any of these. He didn’t want to do any of these. As he thought, his feelings came to surface, he was seduced by Eric’s closeness and sweet words and in the end with his eyes closed he admitted it whispering, “I do.”

“I’m glad.” Eric muttered, chuckling to himself. “I love you, too, Hyesung-ah.”

They just stared into each others’ eyes, both being enchanted by the words they kept in themselves for so long, but finally said it out loud. Their stormy feelings finally calmed down as they showed their hearts to the other.

However, Hyesung’s expression turned sour, he lowered his gaze and asked, “How should I know you won’t change again and run after someone else?”

“You don’t.” Eric replied, making Hyesung stare at him with widened eyes. “I can’t promise you anything, I can’t say that two months or two years from now I won’t meet with someone else and I won’t want to remarry. The same goes for you. Neither you nor I can know what fate has for us. But what I can say is that I’m confident about my feelings now. Now, I just want to be with you and no one else. Now, I just really want to kiss you.”

Hyesung helpless from Eric’s words leant his head onto his shoulder, “You are unfair…”

“I know…”

“But you came back to me…” He mumbled, his voice sounded weak.

“Yes.”

Hyesung slightly pulled back and looked into Eric’s eyes. He was just staring at him, his eyes were shining and his cheeks were flushed and Eric thought Shin Hyesung might be the most beautiful and cutest person in this world. It was a sight Eric cannot get enough from.

“Will you always come back to me?” Hyesung asked lowering his eyes, he seemed to be embarrassed.

Eric chuckled, slid his hand to his nape only to pull Hyesung closer and kiss his forehead, “I will…”

“I’m going to always wait for you then…”

They both smiled as they got lost in each others’ gazes, then slowly got closer enjoying every moment that took them to finally touch the others’ lips they were thirsty for so long.

With that kiss they sealed their promise of a faithful return when their time arrives…

It was their Spring now.


End file.
